Sam…you have a weird friend…

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February 13, 2007

Sam…you have a weird friend…

This is what happens when you talk to Sammy when he is at a friend’s house…

7:25 PM Sammy: i cant talk now

  im at a friends house

me: ok

  will you be on later tonight then?

7:26 PM Sammy: maybe…but i had a snow day today and have been at a friends house almost all day

me: ok…i hope i can talk to you again tonight

7:27 PM Sammy: es possible

me: w00t!

  lol

  i will let you be with your friend now , talk to ya soon! hugs

Sammy: ok

  I’ll let you know that I will keep good care of sam

7:28 PM I curently have him tied up

me: is scared

Sammy: I shall be beating him in a few hours

  Sam is yelling now

me: ?!?

Sammy: hey wants to type one thing to you

  should I let him?

me: YES

7:29 PM lol

Sammy: should I?

me:

Sammy: it could be the last thing you ever hear from him

  ever

me: riiiight

Sammy: well here it is

me: he can’t die without me seeing him again…nope…

  …

Sammy: sorry

  that was mi amigo dan

7:30 PM YOU FOOL!

  don’t expose me!

me: haha

  ?!?

  how are you two doing that?

Sammy: i am going to die

  muhahahaha

me: noooooooo

Sammy: who is sam?

  and who is dan?

  same person maybe?

me: mabye

  never know

Sammy: stop it!

7:31 PM I won’t!

  muhhahahahaha

me: Sammy does that to me a lot…

Sammy: you fool1

me: LOL

Sammy: don’t laugh your next fool

  don’t kill her!

  maybe I will

  DON’T!

  ok

  I will kill her fast

me: Touch me and your dead…

Sammy: quick and painless

me: lol

  NO

7:32 PM and no killing Sammy either!!!

  LOL

  this is funny

Sammy: If you touch her I’ll kill you!

  ya right you’re ted up

  tied*

me: tied you mean

  lol

Sammy: you fool

  don’t correct me

  your life depends on your next few word

  s

  HELP ME!

  I am at Dan’s house!

7:33 PM SHUT IT!

  I’ll kill you!

  oh it’s on dan

  you want to fight sam?

  HU!?

me: ?!?

Sammy: DO YOU!?

  maybe I do

  OK FINE!

me: does who what?

Sammy: I’LL BEAT YOU UP SON!

  ok dan

  you’re getting her confuzed

  I know

7:34 PM it’s fun

  ok but seriously

  can you untie me now?

  no

me: is there really two of you?

Sammy: I don’t know

  is there?

  depends on your point of view I guess

  was darkth vader lukes father?

  or was he just a puppy

me: …is there two bodies typing messages to me?

  there

7:35 PM Sammy: well

  now there is one bodie

  and one living being

  dan is the living one

me: cries

Sammy: HE LIES!!!!

me: YAY!

Sammy: okay…i am back now

  dan was typing and pretending i was too

  but it was just dan

  WAS AND IS THAT IS!

7:36 PM DAN!!!

  MUHAHAHAHA

me: ???

  hides

Sammy: I have a plan!

me: ?

Sammy: get over to my house right now

  or Dan will die

me: good

  lol

  jk

  jk

Sammy: OH THANKS!

me:

7:37 PM Sammy: SEE IF I EVER DEATH THREATEN YOU AGIAIN!

  shut it dan

me: …

Sammy: ok

me: i need mental help

  lol

  for this

Sammy: I’ll tell you what

  I’ll tell you who is typing this

  if you can guess what I am eating at the moment

7:38 PM take your time

  Sam’s life depends on your answer

me: nothing?

Sammy: WRONG!

me: NOOOO

Sammy: I HAVE SALIVA IN MY MOUTH!

  and that is what I am eating!

me: butthead

  lol

Sammy: so the answer to the question is Dan!

  DAN IS TYPING THIS!

  wait..

7:39 PM hmm

  so now that you know that it is me

  who is typing this

  how does that make you feel?

me: i am so confused

Sammy: like a ham sandwich maybe?

  because I feel like one every now and again

  but thats normal

  IT’S NORMAL!

  I’M NOT CRAZY!

7:40 PM SO WHAT IF THERE’S VOICES EVERYWHERE!

  THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME CRAVY!

  MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  so how was your day dear?

  you idiot!!

me: ???

Sammy: i am sorry

  that was totally dan!!

7:41 PM me: riiiight

Sammy: ill give you proof

  you have rats that like to pee

me: he died

Sammy: aww!! :’(

me: and the others died last school year

Sammy: (moment of silence)

me: but you know that “dear” was used a lot for me a while back

Sammy: interupted by chainsaws !

me: by a friend of mine

Sammy: hmm

7:42 PM was it not Dan?

  he has the ability to change form

  like he is now

me: riiight

  SAMMY! WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!?!

  lol

Sammy: lol

  dan is having a little too much fun

me: …

7:43 PM Sammy: so, i am typing something and then he takes the keyboard away

  like now…

  FOOL!

  DON’T TELL HER MY PLAN!

  I SHALL CONSUME THINE FLESH!

  see what i mean??

  dan is a little crazy

me: tell me who is on here and what is going on…

7:44 PM is dan your alter ego or something?

  LOL

Sammy: A LITTLE!? I PUT 9 YEARS AT CRAZY SCHOOL FOR A DEGREE IN CRAZYNESS JUST TO GET A LITTLE!?

me: that would be funny

Sammy: I’ll tell you what

me: ?!?

Sammy: from now on Dan will talk in caps

me: ok

Sammy: so you can tell

me: good

Sammy: so, what do you think of Dan??

7:45 PM YOU IDIOT!!! DONT ASK IT QUESTIONS TO GIVE AAY MY SECRIT!!!

me: secrit?

Sammy: DANG SAM YOU CAN’T TYPE

  SO ANYWAY

me: he can’t spell that’s for sure…

Sammy: I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET WHEN I SAW A GHOST

7:46 PM HE SAID HIS NAME WAS PHIL

me: o_0

Sammy: NOW I NEVER GO TO THE BATHROOM WHEN THERE ISN’T TOILET PAPER AVAILABLE

  i can spell!!

me: ohhhh

  so it is all sam now huh?

Sammy: just be confused…i’ll explain later

  no

  it isn’t

me: how later is later?

  lol

  ok

Sammy: here is dan….

7:47 PM WO IST DIE KOFFER!?

  schniel!

me: ?

Sammy: NINE

  VE HISEN ZE BITTER

  dan is learning german

  YA DAN IST

me: o_0… randomly dies

Sammy: dont confuse the confused!!

me: jk!

7:48 PM Sammy: HOW CAN YOU RANDOMLY DIE?

me: it works mann…it does

Sammy: YOU CAN RANDOMLY BURST INTO FLAMES

  BUT THERE’S ALWAYS A REASON FOR DEATH

  ’tis true

  HAHAHAHAHAHA

  I LEFT YOU SPEACHLESS

  THAT MAKES ME A IMORTAL

7:49 PM me: ooookkkkaaaayyyy…

  nope

  bring it on

Sammy: immortal has two ‘M’s dan

  IT WON’T WHEN i TAKE OVER THE WORLD

me: told you that he can’t spell

Sammy: THAT’LL BE THE FIRST THING TO GO

me: the “i” is not capitalised

Sammy: i can to spell!!

me: it should have been

  ACK

Sammy: HMMM

7:50 PM me: if dan said that, then it should have been caps

Sammy: WHAT IF I WERE TO TELL YOU THAT I AM FLAMABLE

me: i would laugh at you

Sammy: SI

  SI

me: ?

Sammy: FOOLISH MORTAL

me: slaps him

  HA!

  lol



7:51 PM Sammy: dan, ‘sí’ has an accent mark over the ‘i’ unless you are saying the word if

me: exactly

Sammy: HOW DAR YOU TRY TO DEFIE ME!

  FEEL MY WRATH MORTAL SCUM!

me: it is defy

  if spelled right

7:52 PM Sammy: I SHALL BLOW UP ALL THE CHRISTIAN SCHOOLS UP FOR NO REASON

me: ?

Sammy: THEN I SHALL BLOW UP ALL THE GOATS IN EGYPT

  WHAT NOW!?!?!!?

me: cool

  i like blood

  LOL

Sammy: dan is emtionally desterbed+

  no + sign*

  hmmm

7:53 PM BLOOD…

me: LOL

Sammy: BLOOD IS VERY TASTY

me: … o_0

Sammy: ESPECIALLY WITH BRAINS AND A LIVER BY IT

  BUT YOU HAVE TO CUT THE LIVER VERY SLOWLY

  OR THE JOICES JUST RUN OUT TOO FAST

  as you can see, dan randomly says random things

7:54 PM SPLEAN CHILD!

me: Sam, i had better get something special for enduring this very disturbed person talking to me…lol

Sammy: I SHALL EAT YOUR MOTHER

  WHAT IS UP G SCILET BISCUT IN THE HOUSE OF THE DAWG WITH A SLICE OF BACON

  DON’T BE SLAPIN MY LAWN MOWA

me: ?!?

Sammy: he thinks he’s ‘gansta’

  gangsta*

7:55 PM THINK?

  i KNOW i’M GANSTA

  FOO

me: oh dang

  what do i get for this Sammy?

Sammy: umm, i dunno

me: it had better be something good

Sammy: think of something

  well, dan and i have to go!!

7:56 PM me: great

Sammy: i’ll e-mail you when i get home

me: i am sad now

  ok

  you can call too

  if you want

  lol

Sammy: MY CAT LOVES YOU!

me: ?!?

  ok…

Sammy: bye

me: wow

  bye bye



7:57 PM …*does hours of work before the morning*